“You left in October. We haven’t talked in over ten
months. We bumped into each other that Saturday night about 6 weeks ago.
We made eye contact. I kept trying to distract myself by ordering
drinks from the bar or going to the bathroom. For half a minute we stood
next to each other on the dance floor alone and watched each other
before I distracted myself again. Every once in a while I like to check
in to see how you are. I would ask you but I don’t know how. I check
your social media. Whenever I scroll I see some things that make me
teary eyed or overemotional. I saw you had posted a quote that read,
“If you’re not gonna marry her, take your hands off another man’s
future”. I applied it to myself when I read it. If I was not willing to
make a move or to talk to you after ten months when I should have, I
should not hold on to you as if I am a ghost haunting a loved one. I
cannot expect you to love me at all if I cannot even speak words to you
that have no meaning. If I cannot even make small talk when we are a
foot away from one another; just the two of us, after the laughs and
memories I have of you and I, I do not deserve to hold you in my mind. I
am letting you go. Not because I do not love you. It is because I
neglected to ever show you. And you deserve every inch of a declaration
of love because you are so honest and warm-heartedly beautiful that it
sends saltwater drops from my eyes to my cheek when I see you post that
you wish for someone to hold.”
This is taken from my writing blog - mondexwriting
(plus this is superrrrrr personal and I feel quite vulnerable actually posting this on here so it may come down from this blog if I don't feel comfortable with it being so public)
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