A chilling concept to which I do not know the answer to, despite being in the situation myself. The theories surrounding it are that people change their minds and that's perfectly okay. But is it still okay if we mess around with other's feelings? My intentions were once honest and true yet no one saw them that way except myself. As after the situation unfolded, just like origami, I could see the creases and dents that I had made and even though the predicted end product may have looked so beautiful to me, whether is it a paper swan or a relationship, once unraveled to its truest form, it's not how it was in the beginning. That piece of paper isn't as beautiful as you thought it would turn out to be. After all, it is a piece of paper.
So does it make you a bad person to regret something you wanted once upon a time? Certainly not. Mine personally stemmed from this attraction I had to someone. (I must highlight that I was oddly attracted to him but did not find him attractive). So I saw it fit to make myself feel better when I started conversation with him and be around him which ended up being the two of us within a group of all our friends on a night out. Long story short, he took advantage of both states we were in (i.e. drunkards) as he made his move. After a few (and very brief) text conversations and long pauses of me trying to avoid him afterwards, he declares his undying love for me (lol jk) which unnaturally, I became quiet angry at as I didn't understand what the hell was going on. In present times, we are on polite greetings basis and have been pretty much ever since. Nonetheless, I'm quite sure he is over his mild heartbreak but honestly what am I supposed to do in a situation like that? Am I to be with a guy who I would only get off with when I had one too many Disaronno's, just to please him? Noooooooooo. That's not what my feminist goals tell me. What makes it that much worse is while I was with him I was half regretting the whole situation and half drunk out of my mind that I was actually enjoying myself. Because making out when you are drunk is fun (that is why everyone is doing it on nights out, I mean, come on). I did have a mild sense of pride though. I had pulled a guy who I actually liked. I had succeeded. I was adequately chuffed with myself and also upset when I pictured someone else while I was kissing him. (Never cool, Melissa). But that story is for a different time.
Even looking back, that is what I wanted but I was never grateful or happy. I felt awful for feeling that way. I took myself too seriously. Turns out, he takes himself even more seriously. And there you have it. Just because at the time it seems like a good idea or it's what you wanted, it doesn't mean it's always going to be that way. Obviously the desired route to find this information out would have been to just have found out first hand without people getting shot in the firing line but what's done is done and everyone now is okay so that's that.
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