LOVE IS SO SHORT, FORGETTING IS SO LONG (Tuesday 11th March, 2014 @ 20:48 GMT)

The first time you see someone you had history with, whether it be a previous partner or your first love or your no-longer best friend, the first time you see them once things ended can be painful. You have banished them from your mind, you have taken all the strength in your bones to remove them from your heart, you have spent weeks, months, years trying to mend whatever masterpiece that was broken. You tried your absolute best to live without them and then, you see them. Maybe on your bus on your way to school, when you are at lunch with a friend, or maybe you saw them on their way to work across the street. You spent such little time appreciating them and their ideas, thoughts, memories so why does it seem to take forever trying to erase them? The love that you shared was over in a blink of an eye, and now you spend the next six months trying to forget. But you can’t try to forget people or those memories. No matter how much time you spent together, it will take however long it takes to move on and you will move on, just at your own pace not anyone else’s. Not when your friends say, “Get up, we’re going out, we’re gonna find you someone, stop moping around.” Your time won’t fly by or heal anything, and it will leave you with many questions unanswered. The hardest part of it is knowing you can’t change what happened and that maybe they are happy and maybe you’re pretending to be okay.

HOW DO YOU MOVE ON? (Sunday 29th June, 2014 @ 19:17 GMT)

“You left in October. We haven’t talked in over ten months. We bumped into each other that Saturday night about 6 weeks ago. We made eye contact. I kept trying to distract myself by ordering drinks from the bar or going to the bathroom. For half a minute we stood next to each other on the dance floor alone and watched each other before I distracted myself again. Every once in a while I like to check in to see how you are. I would ask you but I don’t know how. I check your social media. Whenever I scroll I see some things that make me teary eyed or overemotional. I saw you had posted a quote that read, “If you’re not gonna marry her, take your hands off another man’s future”. I applied it to myself when I read it. If I was not willing to make a move or to talk to you after ten months when I should have, I should not hold on to you as if I am a ghost haunting a loved one. I cannot expect you to love me at all if I cannot even speak words to you that have no meaning. If I cannot even make small talk when we are a foot away from one another; just the two of us, after the laughs and memories I have of you and I, I do not deserve to hold you in my mind. I am letting you go. Not because I do not love you. It is because I neglected to ever show you. And you deserve every inch of a declaration of love because you are so honest and warm-heartedly beautiful that it sends saltwater drops from my eyes to my cheek when I see you post that you wish for someone to hold.” 

This is taken from my writing blog - mondexwriting

(plus this is superrrrrr personal and I feel quite vulnerable actually posting this on here so it may come down from this blog if I don't feel comfortable with it being so public)

Top 7 Nail Colours for Summer!

As the seasons change, so do the colours on our nails. Here are my top 7 recommendations from my collection that are perfect for summer outfits.

Rimmel London's Salon Pro Kate Collection Polish, #705 Reggae Splash

Gelly Hi-Shine Nail Paint by Barry M, #GNP5 Blueberry

Gelly Hi-Shine Nail Paint by Barry M, #GNP6 Prickly Pear

Gelly Hi-Shine Nail Paint by Barry M, #GNP13 Papaya

Essie Nail Lacquer, #1 Blanc

Essie Nail Lacquer, #27 Watermelon

Essie Nail Lacquer, #99 Mint Candy Apple

                           

My Handbag Essentials!

This week on the blog I thought I would share with you my handbag essentials! Currently the bag I am using is my beloved Bestillini bag (TKMaxx) which is like my child. I filmed a 'What's In My Bag?' video about a week ago when I got this bag HOWEVER you all probably know the situation with videos at the moment (they just ain't happening) so if that ever goes up then it will be très similar to this post but this can be a little preview for you :)

                           

In the photo I carry these 9 essentials with me almost everywhere - whenever I take a handbag or bag, all these things go in there, obviously besibes my clutch when I'm out for the night because I'm sure I won't need sunglasses or my diary...

So below is what I carry on a regular basis when I'm running errands, including a box of ibuprofen (or paracetamol as I get headaches frequently), body spray (gots to be keeping freshly scented am I right ladies), my keys (der), my glass (I need to see things sometimes), my sunglasses (I actually don't know why these go in every bag with me - I want to get the most out of my sunnies but it's England come on I should replace these with a brollie).

I also have there my little pink diary - I bought this just after the year began as I wanted to be more organised and I use it all the time I don't know how I could have lived previously without one and I didn't think I would actually stick to using it (thought I would resort to my phone) but nope I record all plans, events and deadlines in there and it has saved my life. I've got my lady essentials (of course) in my little purple tin courtesy of BodyForm (never know what is gonna happen, expect the unexpected and all that jazz) and in my Beatles tin (which my ma got my yonks ago for Christmas) I keep chewing gum. The story behind this is that I bought one of those Extra gum boxes, the little cardboard ones, but in my bag they just get squashed and gum is flying around everywhere so I popped them in this little tin which I had been trying to find a use for since I got it. I also helps to keep my gum fresh as it's a metal tin.

Lastly, I can't go absolutely anywhere without my purse! (who goes somewhere without their purse) This is my new Prada purse :) (it excites me very much) I love a big purse because I like everything in one place - I've got hella loyalty cards and receipts and coupons going on in there I can't be keeping a tiny wallet for all that crap.

                                     

Thanks for reading! Melissa xoxo

London Zoo OOTD + MOTD

Last Wednesday I supervised a school trip to London Zoo (I hate London Zoo) and thought it would be a good opportunity to show a outfit of the day (ootd) and the makeup I wore as well (which I also had to carry on without reapplying for my whole shift at work straight after so my makeup survived about 14 hours of wear (or just about). 

For my makeup look, I really wanted to create a look that accentuated my eye shape as you may have noticed I have hugely round and large eyes which makes it difficult for me to wear certain winged liner. After watching like all of LustreLux's videos on Youtube (most specifically her video tutorial on her everyday cut crease makeup which I adore omg) it gave me the motivation to attempt something similar. Here I softened the cut crease and used natural toned shadows for it to be easily blended before lining my lids with my Eyeko Skinny liner. I paired this eye look with a simple pinkish nude - using e.l.f.'s lipstick in Rosy Tan and topping it with a clear gloss by Rimmel - this is really lip plumping and is a favourite recently.

For my outfit I wanted to keep it casual as I was only supporting a trip so I went for the iconic, t-shirt and jeans look and topped it off with my new stone/grey faux leather jacket from H&M. I have this jacket in black (which you may have seen before) but I ordered this one online and it arrived about a week ago so it wasn't until it arrived I realised it was exactly the same as my black one just in a different colour! This jacket makes any look more edgy but not too grungy as the black jacket does.

I paired it with this t-shirt - a men's shirt originally from UNIQLO but found in a charity shop. This cost me like four quid (bargainnnnnn) and is soooooo soft and a perfect fit for an oversized t-shirt for my shape. Plus I love the graphic font on it and how it's navy which just makes it so versatile.

I wore jeans as I said before with this outfit and these are some of my favourite jeans - they are Primark skinny jeans for eleven pounds and Primark change these jeans all the time - the fit, the stitching, the material, something just always changes every time I buy a new pair but these are the best I have found. They are so stretchy and soft plus they are very flattering (making dat butt look good). My only fault with these are that they fall down on me as they are quite big even though they are my size (but I find Primark sizing should not be trusted at all it is very messed up) so I do belt these every single time.

I wore my old low top converse with this outfit as I thought it could rain plus I would be walking through London all day so needed something remotely comfortable but hell I was wrong. I love these as they were my first pair of converse I bought (I only have two though??) yonks ago as converse are actually quite pricey. Especially for a teenager. So I bought these ones as I wanted something versatile like the black classic converse but also something unique as I was spending a fair share of my money on trainers so I picked the ones with the limited edition blue stitching - these also come with three different laces to choose from but I am pretty sure they don't sell these shoes anymore. 

 

So that concludes this brief OOTD and MOTD! Hope you enjoyed and if you like posts like these plus +1 it or comment below!

Thanks for reading, Melissa xoxo

WHAT IF THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY CAME BACK? (Tuesday 29th April, 2014 @ 14:39 GMT)

In the film, "Letters to Juliet", Amanda Seyfried's character, Sophie writes an incredible letter that begins, "'What' and ‘if’are two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life".

If how you felt back then was so powerful then who is to say it isn't now. "What if...?" Maybe he got away when you turned your back for a split second and took his chance to run. Maybe they slipped through your fingers. Like when your hands are so numb that you can't control them anymore. You can't grip onto things as tightly as you used to and these things that you once held so strongly go crashing to the floor, straight through the gaps in your cowardly fingers and you don't feel a thing. 

If he ever came back, what's to say that he won't get away again? I'll have to wear gloves next time to stop myself from losing grip. I know I will try everything in my power to prevent it from plummeting at my feet. Maybe he'll find an escape again. He can find your biggest flaw and use it against you. He'll squeeze me so hard I'll have no choice but to suffocate. What if he never intended to leave me at all, but to just leave where we were for a while? What if his intentions were never clear? What if he wants to come back but can't? What if he already has and I was too busy or I wasn't around to see what was going on? What is he wants me back in his life just as much as I need him? I'll probably never know the answers to these questions but these kinds of thoughts bring you the worst kind of pain. It's like there's something squeezing you from the inside but you can't physically feel it. There's no purple bruise that you can label with a time and date, no battle scar with an in-depth historical notation. You just have your thoughts that you have neglected to share with anyone but the moon and stars.

What if the one who got away, came back? What does this even mean?! Is it asking what your reaction would be if you saw them again for the first time? Is it asking what your relationship with them would amount to this time? Is it asking if you would ever accept them back in your life? Just for reference, I never used to believe in second chances. I believed that people would either have their shot and that's all you need if it's something you really wanted. But maybe you ran out of time, or something was holding you back? Maybe God really wants the best for you or you needed to take it slowly. So maybe some people deserve second chances and I hope I get mine. I hope he comes back.

Natural and Simple Bridal Look! Perfect for Summer ☀️

It's that time of year where it seems everyone is going to weddings. Either you yourself is getting married, one of your best friends or maybe you're just attending the reception but we all need a look that we can wear for the day. 

This look was so last minute of me that I decided to make it into a blog post after I wanted to put on a bit of light coverage makeup and made my hair into this bohemian bun. This look is so versatile and adaptable especially for the warmer months as you can wear it with different headbands or even with braids/plaits if you have the time and it is so much more easier to do than it looks! Thus, this look can be used for festivals looks for when your hair is a tad oily or if you have an event or such where you need your hair up but still like it looking flawlessly pretty. The makeup is too very gentle to wear when it's warmer as the base that I used was Clarins HydraQuench Tinted Moisturiser which has an SPF of 15 in it to keep the sun off you for the day and is light on the skin which let's it breathe. Below is what I used for each step of the makeup and how I did my hair for this Summer Bridal Look! 

To achieve the natural makeup, after applying the base I set it with MAC Skinfinish Natural as this is known to keep your foundation in place for the day - a must for special occasion makeup! I lightly contoured my cheekbones with Nars Laguna Bronzer to give my face a little dimension. I applied Benefit's Coralista blush to the apples of my cheeks to give it a natural flush to add to the natural and simple makeup look. 

I filled my brows in with my L'Oreal Brow Artiste pencil as a brow pencil gives the effect of my natural brows as you can easily mimic brow hairs when filling them in. This pencil is great as it comes with a tiny brush on the cap to comb through the brows before and after. Plus one end of the pencil is wax which you can easily set the brow in place with. Although the wax end of this pencil is very soft this means it runs down very very quickly so I don't use it every single time - especially when it was part of my everyday makeup routine.

After filling my brows, I wanted to go for a 'barely there' look for the eyeshadow. I contoured my eyes by placing Laguna bronzer into the socket and crease from my brow bone towards the inner corner to make my eyes less rounded and more 'cat-eye' shaped. I used Benefit's long wearing shadow in the shade Call My Buff to highlight under my brows and in the tear duct area before placing a light petal pink shade from this Sleek palette shown below and mixed it with Call My Buff to place all over the lid and blended into the crease. I used my favourite mascara at the moment, Rimmel London's Scandaleyes RetroGlam mascara - this isn't a natural looking mascara but for this look I really wanted to achieve super long and thick lashes, just to give the look something that stands out for special occasion makeup. To make my eyes brighter, I used Rimmel London's white kohl eyeliner - white eyeliner is great for making your eyes look bigger or brighter and makes you look more awake so it's great in the mornings!

I used L'Oreal GlamShine Stain Splash in Lolita - a gorgeous natural pink coloured gloss - these glosses are just thick enough to last for long periods of time (great for special occasions such as weddings!) but they're not incredibly sticky and disgusting that makes you want to blot it every 20 minutes like some glosses. There's not a huge variety of shades but the colours that are available are perfect for everyday wear.

Moving onto the hair, I wanted to achieve a natural, beachy up-do and interpreted a version I saw on Youtube by Courtney Lundquist but I only curled the front sections of my hair that weren't up. So what I did is I sectioned off those front pieces first and curled them really tightly with a GHD flat iron and sprayed them with Pantene Pro V Ice Shine hairspray and separated the curls from the rest of my hair with the headband that is shown in the photos. I divided the rest of my hair into two top and bottom sections, forming the bottom half of my hair into a ballerina bun by twisting it and wrapping it around itself then securing it in place with a hair band. Afterwards, you just take sections from the top half of your hair and wrap them either over or under the bun you just created. As I said I didn't curl this section but in Courtney's video she did and I admit my hair would have looked a lot better if I had the time to curl it! After wrapping sections around the bun, you just pop in some bobby pins to secure it in place. I'd suggest using those pins that are made for this kind of look - they're grips designed for pinning hair in buns (I don't know what they're called but they are kind of like these I guess - Boots Hairpins) and if your headband is still in place you are pretty much finished when you have pinned all the hair back!

Thank you for reading! As always, if you have any requests please leave them below or email me! Melissa xoxo

WHY REGRET SOMETHING YOU ONCE WANTED? (Thursday 24th April, 2014 @ 21:57 GMT)

A chilling concept to which I do not know the answer to, despite being in the situation myself. The theories surrounding it are that people change their minds and that's perfectly okay. But is it still okay if we mess around with other's feelings? My intentions were once honest and true yet no one saw them that way except myself. As after the situation unfolded, just like origami, I could see the creases and dents that I had made and even though the predicted end product may have looked so beautiful to me, whether is it a paper swan or a relationship, once unraveled to its truest form, it's not how it was in the beginning. That piece of paper isn't as beautiful as you thought it would turn out to be. After all, it is a piece of paper. 

So does it make you a bad person to regret something you wanted once upon a time? Certainly not. Mine personally stemmed from this attraction I had to someone. (I must highlight that I was oddly attracted to him but did not find him attractive). So I saw it fit to make myself feel better when I started conversation with him and be around him which ended up being the two of us within a group of all our friends on a night out. Long story short, he took advantage of both states we were in (i.e. drunkards) as he made his move. After a few (and very brief) text conversations and long pauses of me trying to avoid him afterwards, he declares his undying love for me (lol jk) which unnaturally, I became quiet angry at as I didn't understand what the hell was going on. In present times, we are on polite greetings basis and have been pretty much ever since. Nonetheless, I'm quite sure he is over his mild heartbreak but honestly what am I supposed to do in a situation like that? Am I to be with a guy who I would only get off with when I had one too many Disaronno's, just to please him? Noooooooooo. That's not what my feminist goals tell me. What makes it that much worse is while I was with him I was half regretting the whole situation and half drunk out of my mind that I was actually enjoying myself. Because making out when you are drunk is fun (that is why everyone is doing it on nights out, I mean, come on). I did have a mild sense of pride though. I had pulled a guy who I actually liked. I had succeeded. I was adequately chuffed with myself and also upset when I pictured someone else while I was kissing him. (Never cool, Melissa). But that story is for a different time. 

Even looking back, that is what I wanted but I was never grateful or happy. I felt awful for feeling that way. I took myself too seriously. Turns out, he takes himself even more seriously. And there you have it. Just because at the time it seems like a good idea or it's what you wanted, it doesn't mean it's always going to be that way. Obviously the desired route to find this information out would have been to just have found out first hand without people getting shot in the firing line but what's done is done and everyone now is okay so that's that.